271 Woodlawn Reserve Road
Akron, OH 44312

Just the facts, please. There is no straight shot to this house, you can't just point a log on wheels in one direction and call me from a rotary phone nailed to the front of the log as you barrel down the road at top speed, just to let me know that you are on your way. It's unreasonable to think you'll find a cord long enough for the phone or that hammering a nail through hard plastic and metal will end well. That's not even getting into the physics of successfully adopting a log as your primary means of transportation. I think it's safe to say that Elon Musk won't be buying my log car company for six billion dollars any time soon. And should this silly idea of yours somehow make it to our beautiful listing, how would it even stop? I'm concerned that it will come crashing through the front, sending bricks flying in every direction and the majestic pillars crashing down on the trampoline like drumsticks from heaven. Fortunately I believe firmly that the the entryway steps will stop the out of control log from making it upstairs where all the fresh paint and brand new flooring in every room lives. There's no way it will make it down the hallway and into the completely remolded bathroom or spacious master. I just hope no bark gets wedged in the brand new kitchen backsplash or that we're forced to chop wood in the big ol kitchen. That's no place for swinging an axe. Most of the 1664 sqft should be safe but the whole log thing is still a poor idea. Ask your agent for more details.